Caption: Moon in Capricorn, when I get stuff done. My daughters both have Moon in Capricorn too. When the Moon swings around to Capricorn every month, we are like the three Moirai making stuff happen IRL.
Not surprisingly, when I consulted the calendar to choose when to send my invitation for the October Shamanic Women Leaders Retreat in Tikal Guatemala, it was around full Moon in Capricorn. So, in gratitude to this full Moon, I will share a deeply personal story of my journey coming to Nicaragua, something I haven’t shared publicly until now.
The journey that led me to Nicaragua and becoming a shamanic coach all started with five words that would change my life. After devoting an intense amount of time to organizing and helping run the Hillary Clinton HQ for the San Francisco North Bay, our group of indelible volunteers watched the results in horror. Our Call Center had become a force to be reckoned with, recognized for putting huge numbers on the board that election season as thousands of volunteers put in long hours calling key states.
What happened that night made no sense. We were destined to make history. But, our hubris has yet to come. That night one our elder volunteers, an angel of butterflies pulled me aside and reminded me that this election was just a brief moment in time and there was so much vital work to be done to support our pollinator friends. It didn’t matter who would be 45. What mattered was the work.
While many awake to a deep hangover (the gift that keeps on giving), I awake to my own personal crisis. I am tapped out. Giving my all for days on end, months on end. My tank is empty. My heart is broken open. This is a new day and an opportunity to make a big shift in my life. This sudden sharp turn on my sacbe — sacred road — feels familiar, akin to the day some thirty years earlier when I tried to take my life.
Drifting away from my body into the light, I hear my mom on the phone with 911 and what the dispatch operator tells her. Listening to the cry of the sirens coming to get me sound farther and farther away, a huge force steps in front of me, blocking me from release with a resounding “No! It’s not your turn. You have work to do.” Fierce